Some day, they'll patent the Sun.
Do you get my title? Think in the lines of... The sun belonging to every one and the warmth it gives us every day .
Even though I don't have a specific topic I wanna talk about today, I know that as I continue typing, I will eventually typed a whole essay of crap out (which you will eventually finish reading yay!)
#1 HAPPY MID AUTUMN FESTIVAL
I think people should stop being so lonely and try to act too cool to hang out with. Wanted to spend tonight the conventional way, some candles and a lantern, but all my friends all too cool to enjoy that simple moment with me. Am I really that childish, it's really fun, stop lying to yourself tsk. ESP some Singapore guys, I mean a small percentage of them. Seriously, their cocky level is drilling a hole through the roof. Just because they are BORN with better facial features, that's right the word is born cause they didn't work hard for it, and as a result are generally more popular among girls, do they need to league out themselves? I honestly don't think this type of people who choose friends by popularity level and looks would be a nice friend. You can continue being your cool kidz and sing that song.
I know I sound like a total pms judgey bitch here but come on, this is my blog. It's not like real life, where I really try to be as nice as I can and not hurt anyone's feelings unintentionally. This is personal space and you're consuming it with disclaimer alert now. And I'm not specifically pinpointing anyone cause if someone asked me in school tomorrow who was I talking about in my blog, I wouldn't even remember what I wrote. It's just random pieces of thoughts here and there.
#2 I miss my secondary school friends. Aww, please don't tell me I'm the only one that still reminisce now and then about the golden days cause I'll feel like some loser that is clinging on so tightly to the past when everyone has moved on. Actually I'm not because I don't harp and blame about my life now and I don't think there's a real difference in happiness level because some day, these high school memories will be missed as well. It just seems harder but at this instant it's always harder. Who felt that o level was easy peasy when it was approaching, it is only when we look back and we say, I miss the old times when life is easier. What triggered this thought is actually the visit to HS last thurs for teachers day. The simplest things such as meeting the teacher that you used to see in class everyday, or the teacher that guided you through the decision makings, and from the last day of school onwards where every thing's gonna be different. You're not gonna see that face you take for granted just by walking around in school everyday, you're not gonna pass by the canteen and secretly take glances at your eye candy, you're not gonna feel the warmth of the smile from the Tomyam stall auntie anymore. All this feelings I thought to have settled down, all submerged me last Thursday. You're not gonna say hello to your school mates and have no worries cause tomorrow you're seeing them again. Last Thursday When I saw my old batch mates, which are supposed to be my friends, i felt so uncomfortable and out of place. Especially with that group of friends that I used to cherish so much, playing basketball together and having fun not because its' me with all the guys but because each of them have some special moment that we share, all that's left now is a tinge of regret and a spoonful of unfamiliarity. 大家都好陌生。worst part is, it seems like I'm the only one who is missing those days, was it because I was the only one who cherished the friendship? Those random SMSes just appear in my direct messages or old phones suddenly, and we were clearly enjoying each others' presence, weren't we? Really hate that feeling where I feel that all that I've once had is imagined out.
Also, when I make special dedications like that to a more specific group, I hate that people act too smart and read too deep into my words and assume into other things. I would like to make my stand clear that the above text is not meant to be over-inferred and misinterpreted.
Well, I can do things to make changes now, but it's always our fears that stops all the possibilities right. People will probably be weirded out by me and not be understanding of my sudden influx of emotions, and the conversation will probably last for a few days or a week, and things will be hanging and goodbyes still have to be made. Because they probably won't be putting much effort to maintain that friendship as they have their new friends which I hope that all of them are happier in their new life. As much as I would really like to ask, is it really a goodbye to our friendship, I guess it'll be a rhetorical question.
#3 to people that haven't been hanging out with me recently, you guys probably won't realize that I've changed. I've changed for the better, I'm a lot more submissive in my opinions and I can work with people with strong opinions. There used to be so much conflict to the point where I told myself, I will never group myself with someone who is really loud on their views. Also, I learn to better appreciate simple things in life. Probably because of the environment I'm in, life is relatively simple, we don't need to socialize because everyone is generally nice here who seldom give shit about fame and popularity and we are all just working towards our goal of doing well in A levels and I guess by the age of 18, some maturity should have set in. Hence, the simple life though mundane at the start, has allowed me to really practice what i preach. Mundane life, goes on. And contentment and being thankful is the simplest way that you can continue, being happy with so little. Sure enough, I used to give thanks and put gratitude all over my mouth in secondary school days, not that those weren't genuine, but this is the time where I really believe in it with my heart.
Which teaches us one thing: don't blame those who talk with no actions, because it takes time, not even for them to convince you with their actions, but for them to convince themselves and really believe in that cause. Only this way, it won't be action for talk.
I guess I've typed long enough, time for bed and school tomorrow. May the rest of your day be good to whoever is reading this at any point of your day. Feel confident, wear confident, and have faith.
Don't let the world change your smile but use your smile to change the world.
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