Return me my happiness

  10 mins is all i've got to rant, got an econs test tmr to prepare later and need to tune in for an early night. Really need to rant, life has been bad :( Tell me people what to do... I'm really tired and lost. I really found my motivation and worked real hard, but it only lasted for a week plus, now i lost my motivation again. Seeing the people around me work so hard, I really just can't be bothered to do anything. This is so bad... I really take things too easily, nothing seems serious to me...

  Another thing is i'm facing a lot of problems besides my studies. My parents are going through a divorce now. My mum is really unhappy living in this house now and i've learnt to look at the brighter side. Yes,we'll be moving out of this 5 room flat to a one room flat, with no mirrors to dance to and probably no space to put my piano and guzheng.... I will not lose my daddy as although I don't get to see him everyday, we will meet up once weekly. I'm closer to my mummy too so i've chosen to live with my mummy. But now the only constraint is the financial constrain as mummy's working as a cleaner and her pay is low. Yes, daddy's pay is high but he is only obliged to pay for my living expenses. Mummy and I will have a huge problem with the money for the one-room flat, some more i have no income. I really feel helpless seeing mummy being so sad every day, i really rather she faster get done with the divorce, but she's dragging it cause she's afraid we can't handle it financially and it is 2 years before i graduate from JC and take up a part time job to help her lighten her load.

 I know this is a lil inappropriate to say this is all of you my readers, but I'm really feeling very troubled. I just needed to rant. Don't be too worried about me, because the more you care the more fragile i will be.

  With everyone's harsh comments when they have no idea what's happening, it really frustrates me and makes me emotional. I don't get it. Does a more liberal society means a more insensitive society? People nowadays don't know how to spare a thought for other's emotions before they talk man.

  You know what sucks the most about my life now..? Going to school every morning, chirpy and smiling, trying to be funny and doing stupid things, but the moment I get home, my mum just bombard me with all the shit about how practical and sad and cruel life is. Really, it's hard for me to not lose faith in humans. It's hard for me to wake up time and again, and go to school hyper and joyous everyday.

  Lastly, what's making me so weak is that I don't have any friends supporting me. I know I sound like some emo-nemo loser here attention seeking, but I think I really need a friend who truly cares and will get through this shit with me. :'( afterall, I'm the only child and I don't have any siblings to talk to ...



 Nevertheless, I hope the next time I visit this ranting site again, I would be free of all these troubles and have a better balance in life.

Off to study, with a heavy heart.

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