DREAMS ALL OVER AGAIN
Is mindfulness about thinking about stuffs that I have chosen so conveniently and instinctively to ignore whenever a small trigger of that thought comes into my head? I can hear the angel and devil speaking. The angel is trying to follow up with that thought process but the devil is blocking it so effortlessly like he has done it umpteen times. My dream isn't about being a dance teacher, it is about being able to dance well. To fit that word well, I have chosen to undergo training at NAFA. To make it more socially acceptable, I've conditioned it, beautify it, altered it such that it becomes: I want to go NAFA because I want to become a better dance teacher. Any dance job is a joy to me. I guess teaching is also my strength as I enjoy simplifying things, solving seemingly impossible problems. Bu the rawest, truest part of my dream is, I want to be a good dancer, to be acknowledged as one even among other trained dancers. I can't possibly just settle for the less yet a more comfortable position now of not pursuing what i've been fighting for the whole time, these reasons that made me choose the dance path, so that I would still be in my comfort zone and miss all the opportunities ahead. There will be opportunities ahead but who promises them to be good? You may work very hard but never ever make the cut in the professional world. All the comfort, status as a dance instructor that I've carried thus far and of course worked hard for, how irresistible it is to just give up a dream full of uncertainties. My only valid argument fighting in my mind now: I'm only 19, do I want to stuck with this for the rest of my life? My life is plain and my adventure have not even started. I do not even have much stories to tell. I want to go for my dreams, even if it leads to nothing ultimately, I can say that I have lived my life to the fullest, I have a story to tell.
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