Halfway through
Hi readers!!
Into 2018, I realise that I'm actually a very late bloomer. After the longest time, I started to understand things and perspectives that I could never seem to understand in the past, for once finally understood the right and smart way to do well for exams rather than just working really hard. Although there are still many moments where I feel like my brain is still underdeveloped/ not functioning properly. For example, my inability to resist things that are fun even though i'm severely sleep deprived. Nowadays people call it, don't FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) and I get sensitive to not fall into this label. But no matter how I try to convince myself, to be more rational and think of the consequences the next day, I still want to things in a YOLO way? HAHA TBH I don't think it's FOMO because this concept is over-used, there may be many reasons why you don't wanna miss out on a gathering/ meet-up. Mine being: I'm just a very sociable person, I love people, I am happy socializing, talking to people, having fun, my energy will just get higher and higher when I hang out with people. Hence, do things that make you happy!!
Many aspects of me are actually changing... and I would say these are baby steps of being more matured? Firstly, I make even more out of the best in situations that I'm in now. In the past, I used to be a choreographer wanting to become a better dancer. My primary role and responsibilities were mostly as a choreographer but I can't help feeling like I wanna be a dancer, learning, training and performing. Then I joined S24 competition, which was really something that I wanna do since years ago.. and maybe fulfilled one of my strongest desire of wanting to train as a dancer. Now after S24, my focus shifts back to being a choreographer for DWZ and DF production. And I've never felt so invested in my role before. It's a good feeling, feeling a strong sense of pride for my work and wanting to do more of it instead of always hitting the bare minimum when i'm not as invested in stuffs :b Also, I think that the little break i took or rather the extra open classes that I've attended at the first half of the year helped a lot in finding my inspiration back and now I'm just filled with this intense motivation of proving to the world that I am good.
Secondly, I'm learning how to say NO to my boss for the first time too. The two primary reasons that changed my mindset was S24 (again) and over-burning. Honestly, S24 period was so intense. Even for someone like me who is used to a pack-assed schedule was struggling to cope health wise. Or rather maybe because I'm too busy and have other commitments AKA school (esp exam period I was dying) and teaching.. adding a new heavy commitment into my schedule made me burn out. We were training 3 times a week... The end result was that I was falling sick super regularly and just tired and easily annoyed HAHA. So when people asked me to do things and I literally have no more resources left to do anything like my body can't even recover, I had to learn how to say no. After saying no for a few times. I realise that my life is really better off with a limited number of things and handling them well, instead of taking every freaking like I used to. Nevertheless, being busy still work a lot better for me than having a lot of time to rest. I just hope that one day I am achieve the goal of finding my own version of balance and really rest a bit more compared to what I have now! Cause nowadays I'm still quite stretched out and tired even after rejecting a ton of things...
Lastly, I'm having a lot more social life as compared to in the past. Although most of them are my dance friends, but I'm thankful for that. In the past I always thought that social life was something that I had to sacrifice for pursuing my dreams. Then I realise the right people can fall in line along the way and make both of these possible :) So i'm really in a much better place now, just letting a lot more things fall in line and not force or wish that things is/ are a certain way.
Okay keeping it relatively short~ can't wait for the end- product of all my choreographies and concert in december and my resolution before 2018 ends is also to send teams for competition (like last year :b)!! I'm damn good at setting resolutions. HEH. Graduating in a sem! Can't wait to eat and sleep liek a pig every day after that.
Into 2018, I realise that I'm actually a very late bloomer. After the longest time, I started to understand things and perspectives that I could never seem to understand in the past, for once finally understood the right and smart way to do well for exams rather than just working really hard. Although there are still many moments where I feel like my brain is still underdeveloped/ not functioning properly. For example, my inability to resist things that are fun even though i'm severely sleep deprived. Nowadays people call it, don't FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) and I get sensitive to not fall into this label. But no matter how I try to convince myself, to be more rational and think of the consequences the next day, I still want to things in a YOLO way? HAHA TBH I don't think it's FOMO because this concept is over-used, there may be many reasons why you don't wanna miss out on a gathering/ meet-up. Mine being: I'm just a very sociable person, I love people, I am happy socializing, talking to people, having fun, my energy will just get higher and higher when I hang out with people. Hence, do things that make you happy!!
Many aspects of me are actually changing... and I would say these are baby steps of being more matured? Firstly, I make even more out of the best in situations that I'm in now. In the past, I used to be a choreographer wanting to become a better dancer. My primary role and responsibilities were mostly as a choreographer but I can't help feeling like I wanna be a dancer, learning, training and performing. Then I joined S24 competition, which was really something that I wanna do since years ago.. and maybe fulfilled one of my strongest desire of wanting to train as a dancer. Now after S24, my focus shifts back to being a choreographer for DWZ and DF production. And I've never felt so invested in my role before. It's a good feeling, feeling a strong sense of pride for my work and wanting to do more of it instead of always hitting the bare minimum when i'm not as invested in stuffs :b Also, I think that the little break i took or rather the extra open classes that I've attended at the first half of the year helped a lot in finding my inspiration back and now I'm just filled with this intense motivation of proving to the world that I am good.
Secondly, I'm learning how to say NO to my boss for the first time too. The two primary reasons that changed my mindset was S24 (again) and over-burning. Honestly, S24 period was so intense. Even for someone like me who is used to a pack-assed schedule was struggling to cope health wise. Or rather maybe because I'm too busy and have other commitments AKA school (esp exam period I was dying) and teaching.. adding a new heavy commitment into my schedule made me burn out. We were training 3 times a week... The end result was that I was falling sick super regularly and just tired and easily annoyed HAHA. So when people asked me to do things and I literally have no more resources left to do anything like my body can't even recover, I had to learn how to say no. After saying no for a few times. I realise that my life is really better off with a limited number of things and handling them well, instead of taking every freaking like I used to. Nevertheless, being busy still work a lot better for me than having a lot of time to rest. I just hope that one day I am achieve the goal of finding my own version of balance and really rest a bit more compared to what I have now! Cause nowadays I'm still quite stretched out and tired even after rejecting a ton of things...
Lastly, I'm having a lot more social life as compared to in the past. Although most of them are my dance friends, but I'm thankful for that. In the past I always thought that social life was something that I had to sacrifice for pursuing my dreams. Then I realise the right people can fall in line along the way and make both of these possible :) So i'm really in a much better place now, just letting a lot more things fall in line and not force or wish that things is/ are a certain way.
Okay keeping it relatively short~ can't wait for the end- product of all my choreographies and concert in december and my resolution before 2018 ends is also to send teams for competition (like last year :b)!! I'm damn good at setting resolutions. HEH. Graduating in a sem! Can't wait to eat and sleep liek a pig every day after that.
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