364 +1
Observing others allows you to learn a lot about yourself, they may not be new things, but are often realizations that you fail to notice especially when you're too egocentric. Contradicting isn't it? The more you focus on yourself, the more you can't see yourself. You think you know yourself well enough but nope. There are really a lot of things that can only be seen if you step back, and that is when you really grow into a more balanced self.
We always talk as if we are sensible enough only to look back years later at what a fool we've been. But that's what life is about right? We have to take a shot and imagine that we are right and see where it'll take us ... (kinda like fake it till you make it)
Anyway I'm really glad I finally have time like now to sit down, chill out, and flow out my thoughts. This is a process of self- discovery and pretty much for myself rather than creating entertaining contents for readership. At the same time, if you happen to be following along this page, I hope my thoughts either resonated with you or intrigued something else in you!
I was always the kid who exclaims out that I don't care and get owned when someone replies "then why are you even saying it". I truly believe that saying is believing and maybe I care but verbalizing my thoughts forwards me to the journey of not caring. It makes me feel accountable to what I say and actually living up to it. With that, i have decided to spend some time writing about my specific new year resolutions of 2019... NOT BEFORE i spend some time reflecting on 2018. I've heard many versions of "what's the point, it never happens... I gave up on that.." etc but the truth is, even for the slightest bit, IT MATTERS. For the biggest part, IT MATTERS a lot and we are responsible to keep our goals in check to determine how much benefits we can reap from it right.
Here were my goals from 2018..
1) Good sleeping habits, before 1am
My eccentricity really does not allow me to sleep early due to the fact that I would really wanna reflect about my life like now at 2am or go night cycling at 12am or just finished dancing at 1am at Jurong. I do believe that if I have a more fixed routine with things to look forward to in the morning, I may value sleep a little more and not keep behaving like an immature teen. For a good 60% of the time, I'm proud to say I was really busy and had too many things to do to sleep. The remaining, was how I could have higher discipline and spread it out better. However, I do acknowledge that this goal is far from happening because I simply do not enjoy sleeping early I like to play and be out. HAHA so there is no possibility of it succeeding when I'm trying to do the exact opposite. :3
So it's a ... fail. I need to work harder for my general health man.
2) GPA 3.4
YAY so I officially graduated YAYYYYYY. Honestly this has been the day I've been looking forward to for my whole education life. Now that it's here, it feels too sudden and I don't feel particularly joyful. Maybe it's due to the impending new phase of life and how I just don't feel so ready to face it yet. I mean they put us to study for 15 years since primary school and just throw us out to the workforce? When all we've been doing for the past 15 years is to pass exams. Studying has really been the most stressful to me as much as I look very smart to some of you and others who really know me know that I'm just not that gifted in studying LMAO. Really worked freaking hard to get to today, to get to this degree no joke. I officially announce that I dislike studying and I'm so glad that I'm done with this so I don't have to pretend that I love it anymore.
Also, my GPA's 3.2 :') I'm really not that kid who turned out to ace both school and work and I know 3.2 is pretty unimpressive. But to me, only I know what I've been through, the tough decisions I had to make and I'm really proud of my 3.2! I fought hard for my double major and this is my best, this is where I stand, I'm proud of myself. Also, psychology and sociology has taught me soooo much that really made me grow and for the first time of my education, it felt okay to screw up exams because it was really just a grade the teacher gives to your work but what I've learned, is much more meaningful, valuable than the grade and no one can take it away from me.
So, i consider this a success :)
3) Meet up with different friends each month
Well, I was in a pretty bad place after my breakup at the end of 2017 and I guessed at that moment I really needed and wanted to have more friends surrounding me in my life. I think this plan only followed through for the first half of 2018, as usual till my workload from dance starts to pile up towards the second half of the year. And as I mentioned in my previous post, I became pretty friendless and alone. Nevertheless, thanks to this goal, many meetups were initiated. They were not that frequent but in the end we figure out who matters and it'll show who continues to stay.
Especially during the period where I got so busy and locked myself in, thank you to the friends from dreamwerkz who tried to open up to me first, allowing me to open up too.
Nowadays, I feel that friends are a bonus in our lives and I guess this is also me announcing that I am ready to take on this world, on my own with a few people that matters :) This includes my students who have grown to become my friends too.
This goal is a success! Not for the exact quantity of times we met up but for making more efforts for my friends around me :D
4) Eat dinner with Mom every week.
Except for some weeks where I had work, or emergency pracs or rehearsals on Thursday or when my mom has more plans than me, this goal is largely a huge success and Thursday unofficially became our day officially :)
5) Go overseas twice with friends + family/ solo trip
2017 was a beautiful wanderlust but I didn't deliberately plan to travel in 2018. It was really hard to get time off. Nonetheless, I went on a 4 days trip to Bali with my friends. And JB with my cousins :) Very meaningful trip with a close group of friends. I'm really happy that the cousins finally went overseas together because it has been a bucket list since years ago. Not really 2018 but Mom and I are going to South Korea in 2 weeks time (mid Jan' 19) and also I'm hitting JB again in Jan as a GRAD TRIP?? With my uni mates? HAHA. Grad trips are a lie, we are all broke kids who haven't found a job after graduation.
SUCCESS!
6) Gym 2 times a week
This is a very funny goal that seems to be persisting throughout my new year resolutions HAHA. Shows how much I love abs and really wish I have a more toned body. But I don't love it enough since for the whole of 2018, I went to the gym at least 5 times? To be fair, dance was really intensive especially during s24 and I was getting muscle aches every day even without the gym. My fitness went up nicely from the start of the year of August and as the year is ending, I'm just stuffing food into my face and enjoying the holiday life. I actually really trust that when the occasion comes I'll naturally do something to get back in shape/ it will just naturally happen once I dance too much haha so I'm really not making any effort on this part and not feeling a real need to do anything when I'm getting fat like now.
FAIL.
Moving on to my dance resolutions.
I'll omit some of the goals because they're really work- focused and just good enough for me to know haha like lesson plan for both my kids and adults.
1) Join 2 competitions (as a choreographer/ dancer)
I only joined one competition this year, s24 and it's as a dancer. However, this was one of the ones that I was really excited to get myself into. Even though we didn't win, but I really value this experience. 2018 did not offer me much opportunities to venture into the competition scene.
As an exchange, I choreographed for 3 productions and one of it being dreamwerkz production. It was a fresh experience as I was being put in a new environment and working with many new individuals. I took in new perspectives on choreographing and definitely learned a deal from it! The other two production being my annual kids and adults concert for my school which I've also briefly mentioned in my previous post. My biggest takeaway from productions this year, since it is a movie theme, is the importance of storyline in a dance item!
I'm not lying when I tell you how excited I am to start applying what I've learned, improve and continue creating even better pieces in 2019!!!
I would consider this a half pass? Reason being I joined one of the competitions that I really wanna join but my intention was to focus more on competitions in 2018 but it didn't really happen. Well, gotta be patient!
2) Attend open class regularly
The ambiguity is that I didn't write what exactly is regularly ;)
Ok I'm joking but I think I've really lived up to this one where I attended so many open classes, 4 times a week before production training started and even as production training started, I went whenever there was a break for production training. I even went on public holidays basically any chance I had to dance (except for the last two weeks of Dec where I genuinely wanted to just not dance and rest)
3) Watch dance videos on Youtube
Just like talking, I like to speak more than listen. For dancing, I like to go into the actual dancing more than to watch others perform. HAHA but I realise how much more I can learn from watching. I didn't watch alot alot of dance videos, but mainly choreographies and some competition pieces. At least after 'The Return of Superman', the next most common thing on my Youtube feed are dance videos so I guess I'm on a good page ;) (I may have watched way too many cute kids but they're cute it's my entertainment HAHA)
4) Create 3 concept videos
This is a total failure. I actually created 1 concept video last year if you recall, it was to Sam Smith's Too Good at Goodbye. I think this gave me the confidence to create more concept videos but haha 0 videos this year WOHOO! I was 20% motivated to push for one last one in Dec while I was resting but I wasn't feeling it completely too so nothing came out. Let's not be so greedy and just aim for 2 this year..
That's it that's it.
Yeah so I really take my goal setting seriously and for the most part of it, when you aim for the moon even if you fall you land on the stars. It's good motivation to start you especially when you're overwhelmed (don't even know where to start)/ underwhelmed (don't even know what to start).
For 2019
(please give me some time to think about it before I share it with you guys. HAHA did my reflection of 2018 late and hence the resolutions will come one day late too. See you'll tmr ;))
We always talk as if we are sensible enough only to look back years later at what a fool we've been. But that's what life is about right? We have to take a shot and imagine that we are right and see where it'll take us ... (kinda like fake it till you make it)
Anyway I'm really glad I finally have time like now to sit down, chill out, and flow out my thoughts. This is a process of self- discovery and pretty much for myself rather than creating entertaining contents for readership. At the same time, if you happen to be following along this page, I hope my thoughts either resonated with you or intrigued something else in you!
I was always the kid who exclaims out that I don't care and get owned when someone replies "then why are you even saying it". I truly believe that saying is believing and maybe I care but verbalizing my thoughts forwards me to the journey of not caring. It makes me feel accountable to what I say and actually living up to it. With that, i have decided to spend some time writing about my specific new year resolutions of 2019... NOT BEFORE i spend some time reflecting on 2018. I've heard many versions of "what's the point, it never happens... I gave up on that.." etc but the truth is, even for the slightest bit, IT MATTERS. For the biggest part, IT MATTERS a lot and we are responsible to keep our goals in check to determine how much benefits we can reap from it right.
Here were my goals from 2018..
1) Good sleeping habits, before 1am
My eccentricity really does not allow me to sleep early due to the fact that I would really wanna reflect about my life like now at 2am or go night cycling at 12am or just finished dancing at 1am at Jurong. I do believe that if I have a more fixed routine with things to look forward to in the morning, I may value sleep a little more and not keep behaving like an immature teen. For a good 60% of the time, I'm proud to say I was really busy and had too many things to do to sleep. The remaining, was how I could have higher discipline and spread it out better. However, I do acknowledge that this goal is far from happening because I simply do not enjoy sleeping early I like to play and be out. HAHA so there is no possibility of it succeeding when I'm trying to do the exact opposite. :3
So it's a ... fail. I need to work harder for my general health man.
2) GPA 3.4
YAY so I officially graduated YAYYYYYY. Honestly this has been the day I've been looking forward to for my whole education life. Now that it's here, it feels too sudden and I don't feel particularly joyful. Maybe it's due to the impending new phase of life and how I just don't feel so ready to face it yet. I mean they put us to study for 15 years since primary school and just throw us out to the workforce? When all we've been doing for the past 15 years is to pass exams. Studying has really been the most stressful to me as much as I look very smart to some of you and others who really know me know that I'm just not that gifted in studying LMAO. Really worked freaking hard to get to today, to get to this degree no joke. I officially announce that I dislike studying and I'm so glad that I'm done with this so I don't have to pretend that I love it anymore.
Also, my GPA's 3.2 :') I'm really not that kid who turned out to ace both school and work and I know 3.2 is pretty unimpressive. But to me, only I know what I've been through, the tough decisions I had to make and I'm really proud of my 3.2! I fought hard for my double major and this is my best, this is where I stand, I'm proud of myself. Also, psychology and sociology has taught me soooo much that really made me grow and for the first time of my education, it felt okay to screw up exams because it was really just a grade the teacher gives to your work but what I've learned, is much more meaningful, valuable than the grade and no one can take it away from me.
So, i consider this a success :)
3) Meet up with different friends each month
Well, I was in a pretty bad place after my breakup at the end of 2017 and I guessed at that moment I really needed and wanted to have more friends surrounding me in my life. I think this plan only followed through for the first half of 2018, as usual till my workload from dance starts to pile up towards the second half of the year. And as I mentioned in my previous post, I became pretty friendless and alone. Nevertheless, thanks to this goal, many meetups were initiated. They were not that frequent but in the end we figure out who matters and it'll show who continues to stay.
Especially during the period where I got so busy and locked myself in, thank you to the friends from dreamwerkz who tried to open up to me first, allowing me to open up too.
Nowadays, I feel that friends are a bonus in our lives and I guess this is also me announcing that I am ready to take on this world, on my own with a few people that matters :) This includes my students who have grown to become my friends too.
This goal is a success! Not for the exact quantity of times we met up but for making more efforts for my friends around me :D
4) Eat dinner with Mom every week.
Except for some weeks where I had work, or emergency pracs or rehearsals on Thursday or when my mom has more plans than me, this goal is largely a huge success and Thursday unofficially became our day officially :)
5) Go overseas twice with friends + family/ solo trip
2017 was a beautiful wanderlust but I didn't deliberately plan to travel in 2018. It was really hard to get time off. Nonetheless, I went on a 4 days trip to Bali with my friends. And JB with my cousins :) Very meaningful trip with a close group of friends. I'm really happy that the cousins finally went overseas together because it has been a bucket list since years ago. Not really 2018 but Mom and I are going to South Korea in 2 weeks time (mid Jan' 19) and also I'm hitting JB again in Jan as a GRAD TRIP?? With my uni mates? HAHA. Grad trips are a lie, we are all broke kids who haven't found a job after graduation.
SUCCESS!
6) Gym 2 times a week
This is a very funny goal that seems to be persisting throughout my new year resolutions HAHA. Shows how much I love abs and really wish I have a more toned body. But I don't love it enough since for the whole of 2018, I went to the gym at least 5 times? To be fair, dance was really intensive especially during s24 and I was getting muscle aches every day even without the gym. My fitness went up nicely from the start of the year of August and as the year is ending, I'm just stuffing food into my face and enjoying the holiday life. I actually really trust that when the occasion comes I'll naturally do something to get back in shape/ it will just naturally happen once I dance too much haha so I'm really not making any effort on this part and not feeling a real need to do anything when I'm getting fat like now.
FAIL.
Moving on to my dance resolutions.
I'll omit some of the goals because they're really work- focused and just good enough for me to know haha like lesson plan for both my kids and adults.
1) Join 2 competitions (as a choreographer/ dancer)
I only joined one competition this year, s24 and it's as a dancer. However, this was one of the ones that I was really excited to get myself into. Even though we didn't win, but I really value this experience. 2018 did not offer me much opportunities to venture into the competition scene.
As an exchange, I choreographed for 3 productions and one of it being dreamwerkz production. It was a fresh experience as I was being put in a new environment and working with many new individuals. I took in new perspectives on choreographing and definitely learned a deal from it! The other two production being my annual kids and adults concert for my school which I've also briefly mentioned in my previous post. My biggest takeaway from productions this year, since it is a movie theme, is the importance of storyline in a dance item!
I'm not lying when I tell you how excited I am to start applying what I've learned, improve and continue creating even better pieces in 2019!!!
I would consider this a half pass? Reason being I joined one of the competitions that I really wanna join but my intention was to focus more on competitions in 2018 but it didn't really happen. Well, gotta be patient!
2) Attend open class regularly
The ambiguity is that I didn't write what exactly is regularly ;)
Ok I'm joking but I think I've really lived up to this one where I attended so many open classes, 4 times a week before production training started and even as production training started, I went whenever there was a break for production training. I even went on public holidays basically any chance I had to dance (except for the last two weeks of Dec where I genuinely wanted to just not dance and rest)
3) Watch dance videos on Youtube
Just like talking, I like to speak more than listen. For dancing, I like to go into the actual dancing more than to watch others perform. HAHA but I realise how much more I can learn from watching. I didn't watch alot alot of dance videos, but mainly choreographies and some competition pieces. At least after 'The Return of Superman', the next most common thing on my Youtube feed are dance videos so I guess I'm on a good page ;) (I may have watched way too many cute kids but they're cute it's my entertainment HAHA)
4) Create 3 concept videos
This is a total failure. I actually created 1 concept video last year if you recall, it was to Sam Smith's Too Good at Goodbye. I think this gave me the confidence to create more concept videos but haha 0 videos this year WOHOO! I was 20% motivated to push for one last one in Dec while I was resting but I wasn't feeling it completely too so nothing came out. Let's not be so greedy and just aim for 2 this year..
That's it that's it.
Yeah so I really take my goal setting seriously and for the most part of it, when you aim for the moon even if you fall you land on the stars. It's good motivation to start you especially when you're overwhelmed (don't even know where to start)/ underwhelmed (don't even know what to start).
For 2019
(please give me some time to think about it before I share it with you guys. HAHA did my reflection of 2018 late and hence the resolutions will come one day late too. See you'll tmr ;))
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