dont even bother

  I normally dislike it when people say vulgar, but today.  Fuck it man. Fuck life, fuck you, fuck everything, fuck the world. You know that feeling when you just hate being happy. I dont feel like going school tomorrow, dont feel like facing humans tomorrow. dont feel like smiling, wanna ignore everyone, behave like an introvert. The most hurtful thing is when the person whom u thought u are the closest to, the person whom u put in so much effort, save mmoney just to get the gift. The same person who just told you to go and die. That said im useless, she must learn to love herself more because no one love her. say that need to use Money to make me help her do stuff. Fuck it I didn't even ask you to give me money.  That person who can one day make you feel so loved and thankful to have a mom like her, and the next moment make you feel like you're a curse, the worst thing that has ever happened in her life. I'd rather u ignore me wholesale than this roller coaster of hot and cold. You're the person who taught me to see all the 心计 in humans, not to trust anyone completely, and now i cant even see your true colours. Who the fuck truly gives a damn about what happens to you. who the fuck is willing to stay up and lend you a shoulder and let you cry your heart out. Not friends, not family, no one. You are on your own. Fuck life. Nigga, why is it so hard.why do u have to owe the whole world an explanation, why do u have to explain everything to people who don't even bother more than half heartedly. Why face hypocrites. Why cant people be more real and have no motive and be genuine.  Why does all action have to be triggered from a motive. Cant it just be because I want her to be happy or I just wanna do it. roar

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

2 months + post breakup

 It's crazy that time just keeps passing. I realise that we don't really share that much memories together and when I keep replaying and replaying, the recorder runs through very quickly. There's only so 'much' experiences that we shared together. We were together for almost 3 months... and now we're separated for almost the duration of us being together. And it's crazy that time is going to keep passing and the time spent being away from you would start becoming longer and longer compared to the time that we had. Recently I'm into this sadness. Not the great depression but just deep, but not heavy, sadness. To pinpoint it exactly, I miss you. I'm not sure what I'm missing. The memory of us or you. I am no longer extremely curious about how are you or how's your life, but many things still remind me of you non stop day to day and instead of sadness... where it's something I lost, it's ... longing for something I can never have. I have...
Read more

现在的我快不快乐

Image
These few days have been having really bad insomnia, lika now.. and the medicines i already took twice the dosage doesnt work :( Monday: Ronnie's hiphop beg, mega love his style and groove and just rockin' the basics. Tuesday: clarice's lyrical jazz beg and gin's hiphop intermediate. There is a reason why i stir away from contemporary/ lyrical jazz for quite awhile despite being crazily passionate just months ago... To be honest, it's due to me leaving Indancity. From being an almost untrained contemp dancer, steppng out of my comfort zone and pushing myself hard every class, how each time my body just cant get used to the intensity of the class but i told myself only through pain i will grow, till i can comfortaby do double pirouettes, fall down in a routine, and keep trying till i get it no matter how dumb i may look at the start, i told myself i just have to try double, triple the effort and i wouldnt be that far away too. Looking forward to indancity before ...
Read more

F O C U S P A R T 1 {P U N K}

Image
Introducing punk: ARE YOU A PUNK OR A POSER? I call punk a set of beliefs which guides your way of life, more than the clothing you wear. The word punk originates from music, and it is defined by its lyrics and attitude. As punks usually have a more deviant attitude, it shows in their dressing style as well. Popular culture comes in: some celebrity picks it up and turns it into a trend, causing everyone to follow that certain blue hair. These people, are then called posers because they are trying to be cool by playing punk. Proud to say, I'm both a punk and a poser. Punk rock music follower? Checked. Give credits to a rock band man instead of synchronised digital wavelengths yo. They may say the world of music is one but a good band still sets the bar. They are the kind of music you wanna rock your head to in a party. Poser? Yes I do dress a certain way to achieve a certain vibe but I gotta say that's 90% from my attitude. After scanning a whole range of nude, paste...
Read more