two-zero-one-six
Hey readers!
------------------------------------Typd the above 2 months ago as you can see---------------------
Hi guys! My last post was almost 3 months ago in 2015?! I'm sorry for leaving this place so dead but I have my reasons... as much as i love to type and blog, my lap top is spoilt!!! T_T
Okay, so i stopped at CHOOM finals yes thats it!
So for the start of 2016, i've been busy working part time at Wavehouse Sentosa, teaching dance thrice a week, going for indancity, SMU chinese orchestra and hip hop practices. Have been wanting to type for very long because I really have so much on my mind recently...
So all these while, I've been going for indancity every Wednesday and Saturday. And every Wednesday I sacrificed my mega crew and all stars (instructors crew) training to be there. I really worked hard, and I would say I've seen myself improve over this few months. Recently, I've left indancity because my commitment couldn't make the mark. As I'm no longer in SMU, being an associate member requires me to be stronger technique wise which i'm not and secondly, because my commitment is bad they have no reason to fight for me to stay. The only thing that they may not have seen is how hard i fought to be there every indancity practice, how hard I train every lesson and i may not have improved drastically but I was definitely making significant effort. The poor commitment was due to my DF concert last year which has a lot of vettings and rehearsals on Saturday, clashing with indancity practices and as an instructor i have no choice to be there. They did not see the numerous times where I rush from a class, down to indancity, or from indancity, back to class, or even to DFO performances which always falls on Saturday, skipping the rehearsal in the afternoon without second thoughts to attend indancity training and only show up for the actual show at night. It's like from DF's perspective I'm spending a lot of time and giving a lot to indancity and even prioritizing it over and in indancity's perspective, vice versa. It's really quite sad but I accepted this quite readily. I guess I'm tired of juggling two huge commitments, two differing priorities and little understanding between them. Just a tinge of sour and bitterness as I recall how one of the big decisions of coming to SMU was because of indancity being a prestigious dance club I wanted to be in, I wasn't even confident of getting in and how happy i was when i got in. How every one in SMU kept asking me why didn't I join emix but i still proudly say I'm in indancity. (how non-dancers don't understand contemporary dance of course, and always think that street dance is cooler). On the appearance, it really felt like nothing much to be leaving indancity, but deep down as I ponder and explore, there were so much eagerness and expectations built up. Nonetheless, this lesson has finally made me learn the hard way of being 'loyal' to one dance genre and excelling in it first rather than what i've always been trying to do. Still very thankful for all the seniors and batch mates that I've met through indancity, there are the people whom I've spent the longest time with in SMU, and every one of you have inspired me in someway or another. To all the friends, seniors and mentors who have told me the same piece of advice long ago, I'm sorry to turn a deaf ear as I guess some things just have to be learnt the hard way :)
Rather than packing my timetable to the brim and dragging myself to classes thinking the more I go the more I'll benefit from, I forgot about the essence of dance which is practice. I need to do more practice instead of choreography. Dance should not be something that I need to go today because I've planned to go already, it should be something that I'm going today just because I feel like going :D
So now, I'm gonna focus more on my hiphop, maybe taking up more classes but gonna give summer jam a miss even though ARGH all the cookies dancers are coming to share... need to save up for my US trip coming JUNE ^^
Some times I really feel like I don't belong or fit into a particular place, I just can't seem to interact or have small talks with a certain group of people. But I realised it all lies within a decision and a mindset. If I take initiative to be involved, and not tune out when they are talking, it's really not that hard to be part of the circle. I guess I've been tuning out on people and life too much lately.
Also, was just starting to be excited as I am more actively involved in SMU Chinese orchestra but the dear concert has to be on the same day as DFO!!! Out of so many dates in March and 4 Saturdays and 24 hours in the day it has to be the same date and time... So despite me being able to make it for all the practices, I can't join the team. So now i'm not involved in indancity and SMUCO, I guess I won't be visiting SMU for quite awhile, still bittersweet watching all the snaps on the story of my SMU friends.
Reading a book about mindfulness recently and so far im actively preaching it! Leading a mindful day can be really exhausting but I think a lot of us forgotten to be mindful as we grow up. Getting caught up in the past causes depression and worrying about the future causes anxiety. Hence, mindfulness is all about living in the present, mindful practices and checks to ensure that you are in this moment. So that we wouldn't end up like lab rats blindly running towards a goal and the next goal and never ending goals. Mindfulness also allows us to deal with any emotions more effectively, even if it's a negative emotion, it's our body's way of telling us to do something to correct it, not feel bad about it. The relationship between our feelings, emotions and actions. Emotions are like guilt, and feelings are like how the emotions causes us to think, for example I should have done this instead, and actions are how the feelings and emotions influence us to action or inaction. It is never a one way relationship and by being mindful of any one aspect, we can identify how we are feeling, stop them and correct them before your mind gets caught up with itself and brings you to the grey world. HAHA I think it's cool to spell gray as grey. I think is very useful for people who have anger management issues because they usually are not mindful and react immediately, causing impulsiveness... and thankfully I have a very good temper as described by all my students of how I never got annoyed despite having to find 10 ways to explain same thing.
Heads up! I'll be applying to NTU this year! Gonna reembark on a university journey and not really sure how to feel about this. After a hell of a viking ride, there was never a perfectly right answer. Somehow I just gotta make a decision, be determined and follow through it all the way. Really hope that I acn get into NTU, anticipating the hall life, and MJ life :) Finally I can be away from home even though I know I'll definitely miss home when the time comes, but I'm finally closer to jurong which means i don't have to spend my life on trains when I go for all stars training :')
So excited about new year, ain't you guys excited?! :D:D Because all the red packet money are going to fund me for my US trip muahaha.
(Kinda hate the outlook of my instagram now cause my life is boring and all i have to update are dance videos... wanna go take photos go out with friends but none of my friends seem to be on the same page as my life, YEA LAH OTHER THAN ME WHO ELSE QUIT SCH HAHA please let august be a new chapter of my life again please :))
It's funny how I always enter whatsapp just to reply that one conversation and end up ignoring all the other messages. It's funny how I only have the mood to reply you and not anyone else. This feeling, it's good :)
Stay tuned for more lynette's rants x)
Lynettedance
I don't even know where to start... It has been a good two months? 1.5 months of heavy production and training schedules and half a month of good rest. For these two months, I have been more active on other networking platforms like DAYRE and my Instagram private account, but to keep things neat I'm just gonna do a sum up here :)
Time passes by and made me feel like that could have been what I've achieved if I just held on a little more. I'm not really sure how do regrets In life come about. Regretting a chance that you didn't take? Or regretting a chance that you took? Or is it something that you did but did it wrong? How are you supposed to feel about this regret? Wishing that time would be the change? Don't know why, i'll do the same. I always tell people i don't have any regrets in my life. It means that if you gave me a chance to relive that situation, I wouldn't do anything different. I've never had that 'shit, I should have done that moment.' Why not feel sore or cry over spilled milk.
Okay that was a hell of an irrelevant crap.
So.. YNDA odyssey, anyhow arts 2015, and CHOOM 2016 have officially came to an end! Sounds quite crazy? from meeting crazy work, production schedules and during this period all my friends were dance friends okay, outside of dance I had no friends haha. But I never knew that moment of receiving the token of appreciation on stage as a choreographer with so many eyes just looking at you at that moment felt so good :b 2015 was a special year because it's the first time I'm involved in choreography for two productions simultaneously. Although expectations were harsh, and disappointments were inevitable (when they just clash in your face because everyone's free days are the weekends right...), I'm glad to receive good comments for both of my item! And of course I hAve friends who came to support me because I'm thick skinned and dragged them here :b
Also, royal blood came in 2nd for CHOOM 2016. This is the only place where I can be honest. I honestly felt very uncertain because we were using a hiphop piece for the Kpop competition. Even during training, I had my doubts. On the finals day, after hearing the judges critic about our semi finals piece being stronger, I really didn't have my hopes high. Hence, this is really a surprise and a blessing. Thank you judges.
------------------------------------Typd the above 2 months ago as you can see---------------------
Hi guys! My last post was almost 3 months ago in 2015?! I'm sorry for leaving this place so dead but I have my reasons... as much as i love to type and blog, my lap top is spoilt!!! T_T
Okay, so i stopped at CHOOM finals yes thats it!
So for the start of 2016, i've been busy working part time at Wavehouse Sentosa, teaching dance thrice a week, going for indancity, SMU chinese orchestra and hip hop practices. Have been wanting to type for very long because I really have so much on my mind recently...
So all these while, I've been going for indancity every Wednesday and Saturday. And every Wednesday I sacrificed my mega crew and all stars (instructors crew) training to be there. I really worked hard, and I would say I've seen myself improve over this few months. Recently, I've left indancity because my commitment couldn't make the mark. As I'm no longer in SMU, being an associate member requires me to be stronger technique wise which i'm not and secondly, because my commitment is bad they have no reason to fight for me to stay. The only thing that they may not have seen is how hard i fought to be there every indancity practice, how hard I train every lesson and i may not have improved drastically but I was definitely making significant effort. The poor commitment was due to my DF concert last year which has a lot of vettings and rehearsals on Saturday, clashing with indancity practices and as an instructor i have no choice to be there. They did not see the numerous times where I rush from a class, down to indancity, or from indancity, back to class, or even to DFO performances which always falls on Saturday, skipping the rehearsal in the afternoon without second thoughts to attend indancity training and only show up for the actual show at night. It's like from DF's perspective I'm spending a lot of time and giving a lot to indancity and even prioritizing it over and in indancity's perspective, vice versa. It's really quite sad but I accepted this quite readily. I guess I'm tired of juggling two huge commitments, two differing priorities and little understanding between them. Just a tinge of sour and bitterness as I recall how one of the big decisions of coming to SMU was because of indancity being a prestigious dance club I wanted to be in, I wasn't even confident of getting in and how happy i was when i got in. How every one in SMU kept asking me why didn't I join emix but i still proudly say I'm in indancity. (how non-dancers don't understand contemporary dance of course, and always think that street dance is cooler). On the appearance, it really felt like nothing much to be leaving indancity, but deep down as I ponder and explore, there were so much eagerness and expectations built up. Nonetheless, this lesson has finally made me learn the hard way of being 'loyal' to one dance genre and excelling in it first rather than what i've always been trying to do. Still very thankful for all the seniors and batch mates that I've met through indancity, there are the people whom I've spent the longest time with in SMU, and every one of you have inspired me in someway or another. To all the friends, seniors and mentors who have told me the same piece of advice long ago, I'm sorry to turn a deaf ear as I guess some things just have to be learnt the hard way :)
Rather than packing my timetable to the brim and dragging myself to classes thinking the more I go the more I'll benefit from, I forgot about the essence of dance which is practice. I need to do more practice instead of choreography. Dance should not be something that I need to go today because I've planned to go already, it should be something that I'm going today just because I feel like going :D
So now, I'm gonna focus more on my hiphop, maybe taking up more classes but gonna give summer jam a miss even though ARGH all the cookies dancers are coming to share... need to save up for my US trip coming JUNE ^^
Some times I really feel like I don't belong or fit into a particular place, I just can't seem to interact or have small talks with a certain group of people. But I realised it all lies within a decision and a mindset. If I take initiative to be involved, and not tune out when they are talking, it's really not that hard to be part of the circle. I guess I've been tuning out on people and life too much lately.
Also, was just starting to be excited as I am more actively involved in SMU Chinese orchestra but the dear concert has to be on the same day as DFO!!! Out of so many dates in March and 4 Saturdays and 24 hours in the day it has to be the same date and time... So despite me being able to make it for all the practices, I can't join the team. So now i'm not involved in indancity and SMUCO, I guess I won't be visiting SMU for quite awhile, still bittersweet watching all the snaps on the story of my SMU friends.
Reading a book about mindfulness recently and so far im actively preaching it! Leading a mindful day can be really exhausting but I think a lot of us forgotten to be mindful as we grow up. Getting caught up in the past causes depression and worrying about the future causes anxiety. Hence, mindfulness is all about living in the present, mindful practices and checks to ensure that you are in this moment. So that we wouldn't end up like lab rats blindly running towards a goal and the next goal and never ending goals. Mindfulness also allows us to deal with any emotions more effectively, even if it's a negative emotion, it's our body's way of telling us to do something to correct it, not feel bad about it. The relationship between our feelings, emotions and actions. Emotions are like guilt, and feelings are like how the emotions causes us to think, for example I should have done this instead, and actions are how the feelings and emotions influence us to action or inaction. It is never a one way relationship and by being mindful of any one aspect, we can identify how we are feeling, stop them and correct them before your mind gets caught up with itself and brings you to the grey world. HAHA I think it's cool to spell gray as grey. I think is very useful for people who have anger management issues because they usually are not mindful and react immediately, causing impulsiveness... and thankfully I have a very good temper as described by all my students of how I never got annoyed despite having to find 10 ways to explain same thing.
Heads up! I'll be applying to NTU this year! Gonna reembark on a university journey and not really sure how to feel about this. After a hell of a viking ride, there was never a perfectly right answer. Somehow I just gotta make a decision, be determined and follow through it all the way. Really hope that I acn get into NTU, anticipating the hall life, and MJ life :) Finally I can be away from home even though I know I'll definitely miss home when the time comes, but I'm finally closer to jurong which means i don't have to spend my life on trains when I go for all stars training :')
So excited about new year, ain't you guys excited?! :D:D Because all the red packet money are going to fund me for my US trip muahaha.
(Kinda hate the outlook of my instagram now cause my life is boring and all i have to update are dance videos... wanna go take photos go out with friends but none of my friends seem to be on the same page as my life, YEA LAH OTHER THAN ME WHO ELSE QUIT SCH HAHA please let august be a new chapter of my life again please :))
It's funny how I always enter whatsapp just to reply that one conversation and end up ignoring all the other messages. It's funny how I only have the mood to reply you and not anyone else. This feeling, it's good :)
Stay tuned for more lynette's rants x)
Lynettedance
keep up the work!
ReplyDeleteHey thank you so much!
ReplyDelete