I am black or white.

Hello readers.

  Holidays have been amazing so far! Wednesday went river Safari with blandon and linghang. River Safari was boring, it's a small place that you can finish the slowest in 2 hours. The land animals are cuter although the sea/river creatures have so much elegance in water. Some of them are really scary looking but yes, as a follow up of my YOLO plan, every new things must give it a try ! :D Yesterday went town to shop for prom stuffs with Sexygirls. My legs were breaking from all that shopping and I was whining and having some serious thoughts about why am I born a girl, it's so troublesome! 12;;8!(;4$(8!45$(8!!! magnificent night at illumi run with Rowena, Aishah and Elton. The whole run, the glow in the dark dyes and the after party was simple amazing. Even though our face, our eyes, our whole body was covered with the watery dye, but it was a too high and happy event that went beyond the 'bothered about cui index'. As opposed to what I hear from most people around me, I will never pay $80 to run, after this illumi run, I will most probably go again for another event like this. Like come on, we barely ran and the event is for you to have fun not for training individual perseverance or resilience because it's really too crowded to run. Key rule #1: go with fun friends, high friends (like me), and you must prepared to get high yourself if not you're just missing out all the fun. Also, some people are rather firm on their stand that clubbing will never be something for them. Well, people who go There for a 'purpose' are not attractive to me either but I still enjoy the atmosphere. (Finally comprehended what Dominique share with him, was doubtful of the pure intention of music and atmosphere intially) I don't drink alcohol but I really don't need alcohol to high. The atmosphere, the DJ, the music, is just great. Rocking to the music, being free and just crazy and enjoying the music is the best feeling. Please respect the music. Music fills and feeds our soul. Spam lots of photos during the run and we were just sliding the paint onto each other and yes, pouring 100 plus on each other how fun is that XD 

Today morning woke up for SLC meeting. I'm so glad that I feel my creative vibes coming back to me (after JC killed almost all of them) as I think out of the box for ideas for the program. The committee is really small this time, I guess many alumnis are down for army xD but we're make it happen as long as we have the believe to do it well, onward hougeans! ^^ then went gym with anni. Tried interval training on the treadmill and other machines, the main highlight was assist chin up. Stretch and headed home. 

  I always question myself for almost every single thing I do. Not like question my abilities but like why am I doing this, what's my purpose or why do I wanna do this or why am I feeling this way. So, took a detour on the way home to have a long quiet walk alone. My gut just made me post some things on Twitter and after that, I asked myself why am I feeling this way or why would i even say it out so clearly. I always have this feeling about my attitude towards things but I never knew how to put it into words and I'm not even sure is it real or is it just me. Is it good or is it bad. Until I came across this Tumblr post that sang my heart and I've decided that it's something I would always wanna do. Part of the reason is because the more skeptical and hypocritical I see people become, the more genuine I want to become and not become like one of them. Even if they treat me this way doesn't mean I have to play down to that level. It's really not about how other people view you also, it's called being accountable to yourself, your own beliefs and principles. 

Every one should read the text below SERIOUSLY and absorb every sentence because it's so meaningful. CAUTION: the content below should be consumed with discretion as it is no where near any absolutes and does not apply to every scenario. Nevertheless, it is more worth consuming than ice cream. 

"I love being horribly straightforward. I love sending reckless text messages (because how reckless can a form of digitized communication be?) and telling people I love them and telling people they are absolutely magical humans and I cannot believe they really exist. I love saying, "kiss me harder," and "you're a good person," and, "you brighten up my day." I live my life as straightforward as possible. (That being said, I'm very sensitive with my words and I make sure it's only positivity I send out)

Because one day, I might get hit by a bus. 

Maybe it's weird. Maybe it's scary. Maybe it seems downright impossible to just be- to just let people know you want them, need them, feel like, in this very moment, you will die if you do not see them, hold them, touch them in some ways whether its your feet on their thighs on the couch or your tongue in their mouth or your heart in their hands.

But there is nothing more beautiful than being desperate. 

And there is nothing more risky than pretending not to care. 

We are young and we are human and we are beautiful and we are not in control as we think we are. We never know who needs us back, We never know the magic that can arise between ourselves and other humans. 

We never know when the bus is coming." 

(This is my whatsapp DP, I somehow wish more people would read this beautiful text)

That's why countless of my friends have actually told me that I was really brave or courageous, I really believe in the things I do and I am not afraid to express how I feel because I'm not afraid of insignificant people's judgement. I also believe that people can feel it when you show your true self to them and it will make them feel good. If I can tattoo a word, it would be fearless. And everyday, I will continue to try new things that I'm u comfortable with ;)That's me for you yea :D