RANT
Welcome to my life. The not very girly girl who feels a lot, who thinks a lot, who tries hard, who is believed to be weird and highly resilient.
Today was a fucking emotional day in school for me. Idk why, i'm supposed to be in a good mood after getting 11 hours of sleep... Did a one page rant during economics tutorial. Sorry i didn't pay attention because I was really going crazy. I felt like crying every lesson, trying to swallow back my tears. If i didn't misuse econs tutorial, i would end up walking out of class I think. On a side note, i'm due for sleep and i feel like vomiting now as i'm semi-blogging and a doing GP.
MY RANT.
Why do people have to bring others down. Because you did your work, do you have to mock at the person or say in the person's face that I did, did you? I'm punctual, you're late! Okay, you can go ahead and tell the world about what a wonderful person you are cause you did your work, but do you hae to bring others down? Do you know your so called 'mock' to make yourself feel better (i'm not referring to from bad to good but, good to better) and boost your ego actually hurt the other person more than you imagined. Okay, people will say I'm making a big fuss out of it because I'm extra sensitive and emotional but really, is there a need?! I'm not even the first party experiencing it, i'm just a third party witnessing it and i'm damn pissed off already.
I'm someone that doesn't work well with criticism. I'm not almost perfect, i make lots of mistakes, so you can go ahead and tell me about them and let me learn from it. But you jolly well don't add knives to your words. You know the difference between a feedback and criticism? Feedback is constructive, it's neutral, it's meant for improvement. Criticism, is to bring some one down and make them feel bad about themselves. Especially some people keep insisting you're wrong, it's just like that without giving you an explanation. Death penalty for an unknown crime. It's the subconscious action of 'the more they push you down, prove that you're inferior, they'll feel superior.'' They will defend saying that do not have any need to be superior (but in their minds these people already think they are, not admitting) if not why would you do that? Invisible scripts and rules that actually constantly guide the way you think. Mind blown, speak to myself, all that i'm analysing now is based on an invisible script or rule that I follow subconsciously too.
You'll get so pissed talking to someone with no intent to help when the only reason you're bearing all the criticism is trying to find some constructive feedback that you can painfully learn from. Because I want to learn, I have to continue letting my confidence get crushed (it wasn't even high to begin with). You need to realise that a lot of time when it's completely different from yours, it doesn't mean that the other party is wrong. Is it that hard to just accept the fact that you may be in the wrong? Or maybe we're both correct? That will never run in your head. It's always you, don't make sense, i make sense. I superior. Your action shows it all. Shows how you weren't very interested in listening to me because you're processing in your brain that nothing interesting and smart will come out from me and i'll be wasting your time. But i mustered so much courage to be ready to receive feedbacks instead of giving up, the worst thing to do is to give up right. All you did was destroy me further. I really hate studying, and yes I know i say this because i'm not good at it and i'm not confident of myself at all, due to many reasons of things happening lately.
LALALA, CONCLUSION: I'm just playing with my own mind cause i'm in end i'm wrong too in a certain way. This debate will never have a right answer.
Today was a fucking emotional day in school for me. Idk why, i'm supposed to be in a good mood after getting 11 hours of sleep... Did a one page rant during economics tutorial. Sorry i didn't pay attention because I was really going crazy. I felt like crying every lesson, trying to swallow back my tears. If i didn't misuse econs tutorial, i would end up walking out of class I think. On a side note, i'm due for sleep and i feel like vomiting now as i'm semi-blogging and a doing GP.
MY RANT.
Why do people have to bring others down. Because you did your work, do you have to mock at the person or say in the person's face that I did, did you? I'm punctual, you're late! Okay, you can go ahead and tell the world about what a wonderful person you are cause you did your work, but do you hae to bring others down? Do you know your so called 'mock' to make yourself feel better (i'm not referring to from bad to good but, good to better) and boost your ego actually hurt the other person more than you imagined. Okay, people will say I'm making a big fuss out of it because I'm extra sensitive and emotional but really, is there a need?! I'm not even the first party experiencing it, i'm just a third party witnessing it and i'm damn pissed off already.
I'm someone that doesn't work well with criticism. I'm not almost perfect, i make lots of mistakes, so you can go ahead and tell me about them and let me learn from it. But you jolly well don't add knives to your words. You know the difference between a feedback and criticism? Feedback is constructive, it's neutral, it's meant for improvement. Criticism, is to bring some one down and make them feel bad about themselves. Especially some people keep insisting you're wrong, it's just like that without giving you an explanation. Death penalty for an unknown crime. It's the subconscious action of 'the more they push you down, prove that you're inferior, they'll feel superior.'' They will defend saying that do not have any need to be superior (but in their minds these people already think they are, not admitting) if not why would you do that? Invisible scripts and rules that actually constantly guide the way you think. Mind blown, speak to myself, all that i'm analysing now is based on an invisible script or rule that I follow subconsciously too.
You'll get so pissed talking to someone with no intent to help when the only reason you're bearing all the criticism is trying to find some constructive feedback that you can painfully learn from. Because I want to learn, I have to continue letting my confidence get crushed (it wasn't even high to begin with). You need to realise that a lot of time when it's completely different from yours, it doesn't mean that the other party is wrong. Is it that hard to just accept the fact that you may be in the wrong? Or maybe we're both correct? That will never run in your head. It's always you, don't make sense, i make sense. I superior. Your action shows it all. Shows how you weren't very interested in listening to me because you're processing in your brain that nothing interesting and smart will come out from me and i'll be wasting your time. But i mustered so much courage to be ready to receive feedbacks instead of giving up, the worst thing to do is to give up right. All you did was destroy me further. I really hate studying, and yes I know i say this because i'm not good at it and i'm not confident of myself at all, due to many reasons of things happening lately.
LALALA, CONCLUSION: I'm just playing with my own mind cause i'm in end i'm wrong too in a certain way. This debate will never have a right answer.
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