Head over Heart

  Hello guys, I've received tons of messages after my previous post, encouraging words, people who thank for my courage/bravery and are inspired by me. Also, the fact that I always just do anything that I wanna do and the more I fear it, the more I wanna challenge it feeling never dies in me. As i share my adventures, people prescribe the word brave/courage to describe me... And i've been wondering why do people call me courageous and what values define courage. Hence, on my trip to the library to loan some self-improvement books, i chanced upon a book that says The Courage Companion. Well, self-improvement books are a little dry because all you hear about are the examples of how other people made it, how they overcome challenges. I'm more of the 'can't sit there and read other people's success and need to go work my own success out' HEHE. Okay, brief summary for those who wish to leech some knowledge which may be quite straightforward as I can't write i...

  Hello readers. After days of mad rush, finally got some time for myself. I wonder who saw my tweet about trichotillomania and my Instagram new biography. I feel that the time is right now, I feel that I am ready to face the world about this and be completely honest :) also, time to pour my insecurities that I've been feeling all along that were left unspoken. So, I have been suffering from trichotillomania for the past 2 years of my JC education. Trichotillomania is a type of obsessive compulsive disorder that causes you to pull your hair out, and people feel a form of relief by doing that. To all the healthy people out there, I'm sure this sounds sick like why the hell would you pull your hair out. It's the same as wrist cutting, clubbing, blogging, smoking, it's all a form of relief. It just started out of the blue, awhile after jc started, I began playing with my hair. I really wasn't stress at that point in time I have no idea what triggered me to start becaus...

Hello readers.   Holidays have been amazing so far! Wednesday went river Safari with blandon and linghang. River Safari was boring, it's a small place that you can finish the slowest in 2 hours. The land animals are cuter although the sea/river creatures have so much elegance in water. Some of them are really scary looking but yes, as a follow up of my YOLO plan, every new things must give it a try ! :D Yesterday went town to shop for prom stuffs with Sexygirls. My legs were breaking from all that shopping and I was whining and having some serious thoughts about why am I born a girl, it's so troublesome! 12;;8!(;4$(8!45$(8!!! magnificent night at illumi run with Rowena, Aishah and Elton. The whole run, the glow in the dark dyes and the after party was simple amazing. Even though our face, our eyes, our whole body was covered with the watery dye, but it was a too high and happy event that went beyond the 'bothered about cui index'. As opposed to what I hear from most peo...

Hey guys!  Finally a 'not racing with time' post because A levels are over. Can't believe I'm feeling empty and still relatively tired from the hangover. Been wanting to blog the day before ytd, ytd, because I have so many thoughts to share but ... I was trying so hard to suppress that rashness and to differentiate between things that are worth blogging about and things that are just my emotions playing with me and how I should just live with it silently. I even questioned myself why I wanna blog and why I spend quite a lot of time on blogging. Read on to find out more!  Throwback to last Monday before chemistry paper. Status: two more days to end of A's. I actually did some sharing with my written diary hehe. I think writing a diary reflects your mood more than blogging. Just by judging my handwriting, I totally know what mood I was in when I wrote that.  24 Nov 2014.    hello. A levels is ending in 2 days. Each time I read my diary, I feel so nostalgic and sad...

Hello readers, shall do a quick post while eating dinner. Recently I found myself being much happier and it has been consistent that those depressed thoughts didn't even visit me anymore. I hope I can share some stuffs with you guys and hopefully those who are going though a tough period of a missing purpose in life can find some energy here!   So I need to start with how bad things were right. Hmm, for those who didn't read my posts months ago, I really hated my life back then. I had suicidal thoughts, I think I suck in everything I do, I think I have no friends, I get so sensitive and paranoid, thinking that everyone hates me. Plus the bad family situation, that period I really feel like dying cause I don't even have family support. Of course the main reason was a <i>medical condition</i> that I have that made me lose so much confidence. I literally drowned in sorrows for months, only surfacing those negative thoughts on this blog, sometimes to my clique of gi...

Hello readers. Had bio paper 3 today and yes I'm dejected. Because the swimming trip I've been looking forward to... All day long before bio paper, after bio paper, Is ruined. I was so determined that i braced the rain to end up in anchorvale cc, cause I told myself if I don't swim today, I don't know when will I ever have the time to swim again. This is a good example of when Determination fails you ... The pool is closed due to bad weather. Sigh pie. I even went Watson specially to buy this highly recommended $7 waterproof bandage for my naval piercing as its the first time I swim after piercing and I'm afraid to infection. I was about to use it and tell u guys how real waterproof it is or how it totally sucks ...   was so excited that I told Screamed im going swimming!!! After bio paper and Brendan told me to swim indoors cause it's raining. Never even give me chance to swim indoors. I finally understood the metaphor 'pull a long face' today because I...

Thank you for 17.9k pageviews! Hahaha hope it'll reach 20k very soon.  Pardon the other cheesy blog titles, they're just some old school project yes.  Ohh if you're bored you can visit http://s-unshinedance.blogspot.sg to look at the childish things I blogg about in my pri and sec school days, not recommended for my dear a level peers, study pls!  Hello readers! I'm back again hahaha idk why am I full of crap to say today but I really got some interesting facts about me that I think is quite interesting ! I think every out there must be interesting in different ways although some would say I'm just an ordinary girl/guy, don't say that. If you really can't find anything interesting about yourself  you can ask me and I will share with you my views about how interesting you Are but that MUST BE BACKED with the fact that I actually really know you, maybe don't need very well but still friends I sure got something to say one.  Okay, back to me being interesti...

Hello readers. Recently on twitter I saw someone posting: "am I the only one that can't study during the actual A's?" Don't worry, I'm one of them too. I sure it's not just the two of us but in fact a small minority of us will be admitting to feeling this way... It's such an irony that you've worked hard (relatively) for 1.5 years and when the actual thing just comes you have no motivation at all and yes, the thought of screwing up isn't actually so scary. Am I screwed ? XD yesterday before I slept, a thought came to my mind. Why do people read other people's blog, I absolutely don't think it's for the reason of being curious about that person's life for a everyday blog like mine. I think.. It's because people hope to seek some kind of similarities in the post, reading how someone else is suffering too actually makes you feel (not better) but less alone. Hearing someone talking about something they probably do not dare to ad...

The last 5 minutes of my freedom, I'd like to extend it to 15 minutes myself.  嗨，我是施宇。再一次跟大家自我介绍。我今年十八岁，住在美丽的新加坡小岛。我是从小和丘丘一起玩大的。我是独生女。我不怕寂寞。我喜欢活得潇洒，非常怕冷的我喜欢小雨天。每天重复的做自己喜欢的东西是小幸福。最讨厌拥挤，最讨厌吵闹。我喜欢雨点打在大海的声音。我喜欢下完雨的味道。我妈妈说，我出生时，在下雨。所以取我为施宇。我爱大自然，我爱音乐，旋律。 雨越下越大了。。。 我的梦想是到世界各地，拍迷人的日落。我的梦想，是在雨中跳舞。我的梦想，是疯狂的度过少年时代，优雅走入二人生活。 我很规律的走完这社会所避的教育，避自己，越早成功，我就离自由进一步。 Devastated when Mum told me I couldn't continue piano after my exams. Can't wait to start my job as a child care dance teacher And pay for my piano fees. Anyway, since young, I've always used all my tuition fees for my dance fees. And work more more more, so that I can hopefully earn enough and go overseas to do voluntary work. Which my mom definitely wouldn't agree to, but when there's a will, there'll be a way :D 

Hello !! Happy graduation! Currently at rivervale plaza Mac blogging with my iPad. Super lazy plus reluctant to start actually. Just finished breakfast deluxe. It sucks :( don't like the dry hotcakes. I miss my sausage Mac griddle with egg why did they have to take it off the menu :( grumpy start to my morning. Anyway, these graduation photos are really really priceless. Enjoy! :) and since we've graduated, it's time for some confessions ;)  I've always been complaining about how there are little friends in school. How screwed up jc is cause all we do is study and we have no time to bond. But graduation makes me realize how wrong I am as I can clearly recount many many moments with them! And I realize I do have a lot of friends in school. Maybe my connections ain't as Wide as secondary school, but you don't need a lot of friends, just a few true friends will do! Now,I'm actually quite thankful for jc that allowed me to meet these friends :D This is jiaren! S...

  Am I even in the right mind to blog now? It's 3a.m, the darkest hour in wee midnight. I wanna continue my discussion about BGR, because I think I have a lot of advice to share (just kidding). It's because I'm very amazed by the discoveries and observations I've made from the people around me. //just digressing a little, it's a bit disgusting how I can feel the stem of the stud under my thin naval skin hahaha, and I have a habit of playing with it when I'm free now ><// How do I even start this? I'm sure that all of us, by now would understand that men are from mars and women are from Venus. Cited from Wikipedia:   It is important to remember that men and women have reciprocally different natures. Men and women need to appreciate these differences, and cease expecting each other to act and feel the way they do.  This actually effectively just sums up everything I wanted to share ... So I shall put it into layman term for easier understanding. To...

  Hello guys. This ill-disciplined life of not sleeping at 1am is definitely not the right kind of life for a jc student that's gonna take her A's in less than a Month's time. But I think sometimes it's really meaningful to pause and consolidate all my thoughts (I'm able to do this very well for my life in general, just can't seem to apply his concept to my academics xD) of course, the recent HC saga has raised a lot of commotion and now I'm extremely afraid to express my personal voice too strongly because you never know who is reading and gonna critic on all my not so sensible point from here, so please spare me if you feel that my comment is inappropriate and close the tab. No hates please. After all, this is my personal space and we're all trying to understand, learn and broaden up our views here.  Hence, I'm gonna leave my comment here for the HC saga because I think mindless reading and staying neutral is good as in it does not stir trouble and...

When I tell people I'm mature, people think I step one. When I tell people I'm childish, people say I act cute. So WHATEVER 123456789 okay. Yoyobananazzz. XDxDxD Hello readers, wondering if anyone really logged at 9pm to check, sorry I'm late, was practicing math.    Anyway, I just had this very strong urge to clarify myself.  When I say I'm not a fussy eater and I eat almost everything, it doesn't mean that I have no preference. 随和不代表随便。Although we often use 随便when people ask us what we want to eat. Actually, I do have a very very unique preference for food.  1) dislikes: I dislike green tea, bread, Kueh, dry biscuits, plain white rice (anything that is dry is a major turnoff to me. And yes I do eat rice but I don't eat it (unless im really hungry) when there's no gravy or u must cook it until its super moist xD)  2) likes: i like bittergourd, and all the Veges (literally ALL) that people find it disgusting xD I like milk, I prefer drinks over food as im t...

II lost my balance, I was hanging on the cliff, I was so scared, I am so glad, For now I'm up even stronger.  I really feel emotionally better nowadays, more focused and my fatigue was coming purely from the long study hours, with lesser negative thoughts. Keep it for 21 days, without breaking the chain, and it'll turn into a habit. My lesson of this episode is, I was wrong thinking that I must always give my best to everyone, even to people that mattered to me, but I didn't matter to them at all. I must learn to be a little more selfish as I realized no matter how hard I try, it is never enough and it's just wearing me out. I should conserve some energy to love myself more. I should not get so affected by other's opinion. I have to admit that I do love the fact that I feel deeper, all these emotions are really magical even though it also means I hurt deeper. I live by the belief that too much of something is never good, so currently I'm trying to control my emo...

  Hello readers, yes that's a very shameless photo of me in my pyjamas once again (for those who follows me on Instagram you guys should understand). So guess who finally got here naval piercing today, after 3 years of crave. What made me do the sudden decision now? Well you see, I've been dancing non stop for the past 3 years, every during O's and this piercing will not allow me to stretch much for a few months. Hence, isn't a study break the best time to pierce as im totally off my dance commitments now till 53 days later (no I did not countdown everyone's reminding me on insta) the best past of the piercing was actually getting it together with your friend, I got it with Choo today!^^ she wouldn't let me post that photo we took so I have to take that shameless retarded photo plus in the pic we took this afternoon, our navels were red (bleeding) xD  So best deal here! We got our piercing for $65/= at Piercings and Tattos (or is it the other way round) at Far E...

   Then I realized I'm actually fighting to let someone make me feel special. I was deceiving myself my whole life about giving and not expecting return. Indeed, I feel joy to bless someone's day for a few seconds. The tipping point comes when I realized, I'm giving too much of myself to others that I don't even have me for myself. The things I'm wiling to do for my friends, people that I care around me, are far beyond the things that I'm even willing to do for myself. Fortunate they are, but I'm not sustaining anymore because no one's filling that __ (void; happiness, love?) back for me. I used to be able to absorb a little and give a lot more, but as I grew, I guess it's with the problems I face, I still give a lot but I'm wearing myself down.    I'm torn between putting too much effort or not putting any at all. Is it people's fault for this loneliness? Or is it my fault for not letting any one in. I believe it's not just me feelin...

Do you get my title? Think in the lines of... The sun belonging to every one and the warmth it gives us every day .    Hello readers! Blogging cause I'm super talkative and bored. No, I'm not supposed to be bored but when you're at home in the night time and laziness swings in, discipline level is negligible. It's that bad.   Even though I don't have a specific topic I wanna talk about today, I know that as I continue typing, I will eventually typed a whole essay of crap out (which you will eventually finish reading yay!) #1 HAPPY MID AUTUMN FESTIVAL  I think people should stop being so lonely and try to act too cool to hang out with. Wanted to spend tonight the conventional way, some candles and a lantern, but all my friends all too cool to enjoy that simple moment with me. Am I really that childish, it's really fun, stop lying to yourself tsk. ESP some Singapore guys, I mean a small percentage of them. Seriously, their cocky level is drilling a hole through th...